One of the sad realities of getting involved in photography is that you start to see everything as a potential photo. That old guy at the train station is now someone who would make a great ‘street photography’ shot, that derelict old building is now a great potential location for a shot, and that camping trip with the family is now a great opportunity to take some long exposure night photography shots. So when a new shop that fixes shoes opened next door to work, and had guys who work there in clothes that look a tad Dickensian and had two amazing old school shoe shine seats…my first thought was ‘That would make a great photo’.
Now that is normally where the idea stops. After all, the unbridled success of my idea could only be sullied by the reality of me attempting to actually take the photo. But in keeping with my new motto of pushing myself out of my comfort zone, I decided to bite the bullet and ask if the guy who was working in the shop would be interested in posing for a portrait.
Hello complete stranger…can I take your photo?
I have no doubt that once you have an impressive portfolio and you genuinely know what you’re doing, then asking a complete stranger to give up an hour of their time so that you can take a photo of them becomes relatively straight forward, as you know that in return for the hour of their time, you are going to give them a photo that they will like. But when you’re still learning your craft, there is always the fear in the back of your mind that you may be asking someone to give up their time for a substandard reflection of themselves. Fortunately I had an ace up my sleeve, I had some shoes that needed to be fixed, so I could use that as a justification for striking up a conversation…and then smoothly ask ‘Would you mind if I portrait a photograph of you?…I mean take a photo of you?…I mean not now, that would be creepy, ha ha ha…maybe when there’s no-one else in the shop…no wait…I mean…that would be worse…what I meant was, can I take a portrait of you?’
As I said…smooth.
Fortunately the man behind the counter (Luke) said he was more than happy to do it (but I suspect he was mainly saying that to get me out of his shop so that he could press the ‘panic alarm’ button). So we locked in a time a date.
The idea
As I mentioned earlier, Luke had two shoe-shine chairs in the shop, and so as Buck 65’s track Craftsmanship looped in my head I had a vision of getting a shot of Luke on the shoe shine seat- the artisan and his tools. Similar to the shot of took of my father-in-law, I would use an off camera flash on an umbrella.
The execution
We had arranged to do the shoot on a weekday after work. So in the morning I trundled off to work with my camera bag (550D, 50mm, 17-55mm, flash, remotes, battery charger & grid), my work bag with my lunch and drink bottle, my lightstand, my bag with my ironed shirts for the week, my tripod and an umbrella (it was raining).
It was at about Northcote that I realised that the pivotal piece of equipment, the reflective umbrella was still at home under my bed. Perfect. I eventually tracked down a shoot-through umbrella and figured that may suffice.
Then when I got to the shop I realised that the shoe-shine seats were actually a lot higher than I had realised, which meant that it was nigh on impossible to get the flash up high enough to create the light that I wanted. But that was fine….because the shoot-through umbrella wasn’t capable of getting the light that I wanted anyway (in short the spread of the light was a lot broader than what I wanted). So I set about getting a few shots of Luke in action, in the hope that I might have a moment of inspiration in the meantime.
Eventually I took the plunge and took a couple of shots of Luke up on the seat
but it wasn’t until Luke suggested sitting down at ground level as if he was going to be doing a shoe shine that it all started to work. In hindsight, it was never going to look natural with him up on the seat…as that just doesn’t make sense. It’s almost as if the guy who has been doing this for years knows more about it than the photographer who has just swanned in to take a photo…weird.
Suddenly it started to work. It was nothing like the photo I had in my mind at the start of the shoot…but it was starting to feel like it made sense.
In the midst of a few shots, I got this one…and it’s my favourite.
So what did I learn?
Well first and foremost, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is definitely the best way to learn…but this is a hell of a lot easier when you’ve got someone who’s patient and understanding to work with. Luke was happy to wait while I faffed around with the camera and flash, provided suggestions, and not once did he say ‘You know, I really do have better things to do with my time!’ (so if you’re in the city you really should get all your repairs done at his shop he’s a pretty awesome dude!)
Also, if your shot is reliant on a piece of equipment…then actually bringing that piece of equipment is a really super idea. If you fail to heed this piece of advice, then you need to be able to adapt pretty quickly to whatever you have at your disposal.
From a technical perspective, I really have to let go of this idea of shooting everything at ISO 100. The 550D doesn’t do high ISO all that well, but shooting at 200 or 400 isn’t going to be a big problem, and does give me a much faster shutter speed.
I’m slowly growing out of the ‘shoot everything at the lowest f-stop because that always looks so cool’ phase. But I’m not there yet.
Presets in Lightroom are still my go to…but they are teaching me a lot about how to use post to make an image pop.
Go with your strengths. My photography still has a long way to go…but my chatting to people skills are pretty good. So no matter how bad I may think the technical side of a shoot is going, I need to maintain that dialogue with the person I’m photographing. Even if I take a really good photo, I won’t be invited back if I act like an aloof dick.
I took over 100 photos for about 20 ‘keepers’ (and in all honesty 5 that I was really happy with)…the Washington Generals have a better shooting percentage than that!
The constant soundtrack for this photoshoot was ‘Craftsmanship’ by Buck 65. So it’s only fair that I finish with a line from that song: ‘There’s a right way to go about your job and a wrong one I find this way is much better in the long run It ain’t about the dollar or trying to go fast Unless you take pride in what you’re doing, it won’t last Craftsmanship is a quality that some lack You got to give people a reason for them to come back’
You can see the full gallery of shots here.
If you don’t already own a copy of Buck 65’s Talkin’ Honky Blues, then go out and buy one…it’s genius.
And once again thanks very much to Luke for his patience and enthusiasm.
After 15 months of training I can finally swan around saying ‘I am an Ironman‘ to anyone who’s silly enough to ask. ‘But what was the actual race like?’ I hear absolutely none of you asking, well let me take you through it.
The lead-up
Regular readers of the blog will know that I’ve wanted to do an Ironman since I was a 15yo watching the Kona highlights on Nine’s Wide World of Sports, and I’ve been training for Ironman Melbourne for about 15 months. So it felt quite surreal after all that buildup to suddenly be only one sleep away from competing in the Ironman. On the night before the Melbourne Marathon I had found it really hard to get to sleep, and so this time I decided I would get into bed nice and early and just relax into a good night’s sleep. So at 8.30pm I climbed into bed and read a book for half an hour, then at 9pm I set my alarm for 4am and closed my eyes. At 10.30pm I still wasn’t asleep, but reasoned that as my body was used to going to sleep at about this time, there was no need to worry. At 11.30pm I told myself that it was ok, after all I had been resting for a good couple of hours, and that was nearly as good as being asleep…right? At 12.30am I started to panic a little. 3.5 hours of sleep was really not ideal before an entire day of exercise! At 1.30pm I started to really panic, which greatly assisted my ability to get to sleep. Some time after that I fell asleep. At 3.30am I woke up and told myself that I really should go back to sleep, an extra half an hour of sleep could be a really good thing…at 3.50am I realised that this wasn’t going to happen, so I got up and began what would be the most physically gruelling day of my life. I was not brimming with confidence.
The swim (3.8kms)
I think it’s fair to say that my favourite part of any of these events is the interminable time you get to spend standing around after you’ve got everything into transition and the event actually starts. It’s a really good chance to realise just how freaked out you are, and how much you really need to go to the toilet…again. So it was awesome to finally just get the swim started. For those of you who don’t know much about Ironman, the swim has traditionally been a mass start. Which means that all of the athletes (other than the Pros) start at the same time. So if you can imagine over 2,000 people all fighting for the same small amount of water, you can imagine just how much fun that is. Fortunately, this year they introduced a rolling start, whereby they basically lined everyone up and started them 6 at a time at about 5 second intervals, which meant that you spent significantly less time being kicked in the face as you swam. The combination of this start and the beautiful (ie no waves) conditions meant that I got into my swim rhythm really quickly, and felt really good for pretty much the entire time.
Going into the Ironman, my swim leg was probably the one I was confident in. I had been swimming regularly with a squad and had done some long swims by myself in the pool. The only fear I had was that I hadn’t done much open water swimming (and by ‘not much’ I really mean ‘bugger all’), but I was quietly confident that my excellent tumble-turns would provide me with an X-factor.
I had hoped to do the swim in about 1.15 and ended up doing it in 1.07, and even though I didn’t know what time I had swum (thanks to a Garmin that had a crack in the screen and could no longer go in water), I came out of the water feeling happy that I hadn’t gone too deep into my energy reserves, and that technically I was one third of the way through the Ironman.
The bike (180kms)
Going into the race, this was the leg I was most worried about. The only way you can do 180km on the bike comfortably is to do a lot of long sessions on the bike, and the only way you can do long sessions on the bike is by abandoning the family for 5-6hr stretches pretty much every weekend (and then of course being exhausted for the remainder of the day). With three young kids, and a full-time job, and a pretty strong desire not to get divorced, that is pretty much impossible. So while I had managed a few long rides (including one epic ride with Matt Nelson out to Healesville and back via the hills), I knew that I didn’t have the kms in my legs to dominate the ride. So my aim was to ride conservatively and go into the run with some energy still in my legs.
The bike leg is basically doing two laps of 45kms from Frankston to Springvale Rd out along Eastlink and then back. My aim was to sit on an average of 30km/h. If I did this then I would do the ride in 6hrs. I spent the vast majority of my time on the first lap out being passed by everyone. But I kept telling myself not to worry as all I had to do was ride conservatively, and I would catch a lot of people on the run…besides, these were probably the elite people who were passing me.
I averaged about 28km/h for the first lap, but wasn’t too worried as I was riding into a headwind, and on the way back to Frankston I averaged just over 30km/h so I was still confident that could get close to the 6 hour mark.
On the second lap out, I think it’s safe to say that everything went to hell in a handbasket. The headwind had really picked up and it was getting hot. There weren’t as many people passing me…but all my ‘they’re going too hard and are going to blow up on the second lap’ thoughts were starting too look remarkably inaccurate, and my ‘they’re probably the elite athletes’ beliefs were harder to sustain when men in their late 60’s cruised past. The Mars Bar that I had in my ‘special needs’ bag (this is a bag you can collect halfway through the race) had transformed from ‘frozen’ to ‘disgusting near liquid’, and there was no way I wanted to eat the vegemite sandwich that was also there. I had gone through 3 water bottles and a water bottle with my gels in it, and hadn’t needed to go to the toilet…so clearly I was dehydrating at a rapid rate of knots. On top of this I was getting a searing pain in my left foot known as a hot spot (which is basically where your foot swells in the heat and then gets constricted by your cycling shoe which leads to nerves getting squashed, which leads to a feeling as though someone is putting a blow-torch onto the ball of your foot). I’ve never had this before…and to be perfectly honest, I hope to never have it again. The only way I could get rid of the pain was to loosen the straps on my shoes…but eventually it got to the stage where my shoes were so loose that it was affecting my pedalling. So I began stopping every half hour to take off my shoe and stretch my foot.
I finally made the turnaround point and headed for home. But my average for the third lap was 21km/h, so all bets were off in terms of doing 6hrs. Already my thoughts were turning to my Mum and Dad who were going to be waiting for me in Frankston and were going to be waiting around for about an extra hour, and to Jo Donnelly and her family who had been there when I came out of the water and was probably wondering where the hell I was…and of course to Katie and the kids who were going to be waiting for a long time at Black Rock before they saw me.
But as bad as I felt, I was least heading back to Frankston with a nice tailwind…and if nothing else, at least I wasn’t one of the poor bastards coming past me in the opposite direction into that head wind and looking shattered.
In the end I did the ride in just over 7hrs, and averaged just over 25km/h. In all honesty I should have just set myself the goal of averaging 27km/h and I probably wouldn’t have felt like I was failing so badly for so long. But the mathematical ease of 30km/h proved just too tempting.
On the bright side, I had managed to get through pretty much all of my nutrition and still felt that I had some energy in my legs…so bring on the run!
The run (42kms)
I’m on record as saying I’ve never really been a runner. But if you’d asked me coming into the Ironman to rank the disciplines by preference, it would have been swim-run-bike. Even though I’ve only been running for about a year, I actually came in with a bit of confidence that I could maintain about a 6 minute/km pace for the run leg. After the first 1.5kms I was feeling great. I had found a good rhythm and pace, my parents had told me my swim split which had been a pleasant surprise and I was already passing people. This was going to be a triumph!
Then about 1km later I started feeling sick and had to pull over to the side of the path to vomit. As horrific as this may sound to a non-Ironman, I actually didn’t think this was too bad. I had got it out of my system, and now I just needed to get some more nutrition in and I would be fine…then I had one last little vomit and saw blood. ‘Hmmm’ I thought…’that’s probably not so good’. But I didn’t feel any pain…and I no longer felt sick, so I pushed on. At the next aid station (about 4kms in) I had some electrolytes, some watermelon and some water and then saw my coach (Craig Percival). We ran together and I told him that I had vomited, but was actually feeling much better, and he was saying that if I could hold this pace I would be passing heaps of people as there were a lot of people who had gone too hard on the bike and were now walking. Ahah! I thought. Vindication. Sure that bike leg had sucked…but now was my time to shine! I was running comfortably at about 6 minute pace and nothing could stop me.
Then it did. I got to the next aid station and my stomach was feeling queasy again. I headed into the porta-loo and vomited up everything I had eaten at the previous aid station, and a little blood for good measure. It suddenly dawned on me that this could be the end of the race. I couldn’t do another 35kms without any food or water…and this vomiting up blood thing really wasn’t that awesome either…in fact, I’m sure I saw this on an episode of ‘House’ once. So I stood in a porta-loo halfway between Frankston and Seaford and faced the fact that for the next few years, every time someone asked about the Ironman, instead of having a story of challenge and triumph…I would ultimately have to tell them that I didn’t finish. That all the training, all the effort, all the sacrifice from myself and my family had been for nothing. Then someone knocked on the door and asked if I’d ‘finished in there?’. So I climbed out of the Porta-loo, went back to the table with the water on it, drank a cup of water…and started walking.
I walked to the next aid station and had some water, some ice and some electrolyte and waited to see if I could keep it down. I did, and so I started a slow jog. At the next aid station I had a little more water and electrolyte and picked up the pace, but then my stomach felt queasy again so I slowed down. I basically did this for the remaining 30kms. I would jog when I could, then I would start to feel better, so I would get back into a run, then I would feel sick, so I would walk. But on the bright side I was keeping everything down, and while I wasn’t willing to risk having a gel (they make me want to vomit at the best of times!) I was at least able to eat some banana, or some pretzels.
The daylight faded, the heat dissipated and soon I was past Mordialloc and the half way point. People were still out supporting the runners, and I made sure I acknowledged all of them. The views were stunning and I regularly wished I had my camera. I found myself running with a group of people who were all at about the same pace and the aid stations (which are at 2km intervals) began to tick by.
I tried picking up the pace a couple of times, but again each time my stomach would start to react, and I knew I had to choose between running faster and running the risk of vomiting again (and realistically finishing the race if there was still blood coming up), or running at a slower pace, but knowing that I was going to finish. The reality was, that I was never in this to do a certain time, I was in it to finish it…and so I cruised on.
With about 3kms to go I could see the lights of the finish, and I knew that no matter what happened I was going to finish, and so I decided to just run and see how I went. It felt great. I was back to running at the pace I wanted to and made it all the way to the final aid station without any issues. I took one last hit of water and electrolytes and ran the last 2kms without any issues (I even tapped out a 4’53 for the last km!).
Running down that final chute was something I’ll never forget. The lights, people cheering, Mike Reilly saying ‘Chris Riordan, you are an Ironman!’ and my family waiting just over the finish line. Did it make up for the preceding 13hours and 45 minutes? No…but it did come surprisingly close.
Support
I can’t thank enough the people who came out to support me on the day. From the Tri Nation team who were there at the start of the swim, to Jo Donnelly, Simon and Indi who cheered me as I came out of the water and then were still there to cheer (and run alongside me) about 8 hours later somewhere near Bon Beach. To my Mum and Dad who waited for me to finish the ride in Frankston and then continued to appear at random intervals like inept stalkers for the duration of the run, to Oc and Tara who for once in their lives didn’t sprint past me through Black Rock, to Luke and Matt who waited patiently at the finish line and took some sensational photos, to my coach Craig Percival who was the steady voice of reason and reassurance for the whole run and of course to Katie, Josh, Holly and Xavier who supported me the whole way from Black Rock back to St Kilda (not to mention every day for the last 15 months). And of course to everyone who has given me that look of ‘well it sounds insane to me…but if that’s what you want to do, then go for it’ over the last 15 months- Thank you.
What’s next?
Will I do another Ironman? If you mean ‘Ironman’ as a metaphor for ‘pushing your boundaries and trying new things’, then yes I will. If you mean ‘Ironman’ as a metaphor for ‘setting a goal and working your arse off to achieve it’ then yes I will. But if you mean ‘Ironman’ as in an actual Ironman with a 3.8km swim/180km bike ride/42km run…then no, only a lunatic would attempt that.
A moment of clarity is usually a moment when you see through all the interference and stare at the truth of a situation. Sometimes it’s a drug addict seeing through the haze of chemicals and suddenly seeing what they’re doing to themselves, sometimes it’s someone meditating on a problem and suddenly seeing the answer unfold before them…sometime it’s Jay-Z. For me, my Ironman moment of clarity happened last week when my wife said that she was going to head out on Sunday with a few of her friends to celebrate her Birthday, and my first thought was ‘But that’s going to mean I can’t get my training done!’ Then I thought, ‘That’s not the sort of thing a loving and supportive husband would think. That’s not even what a basic human being would think. That’s what a sociopath would think!’ In my moment of clarity, I saw that achieving something I’ve always wanted to achieve, may mean becoming someone I never wanted to become. The sort of person who sees everything through a prism of ‘How does this impact on me?’ In short, becoming a selfish person.
Let’s not kid ourselves
Becoming an Ironman is a selfish pursuit. I’ve tried to justify it to myself by saying ‘It will be great for the kids to see me apply myself to achieving a dream. They’ll see that hard work reaps rewards.’ But in truth, they haven’t got the foggiest idea what I’m doing when I’m training. They just know that Dad goes away for hours at a time…and returns sweaty and hungry. I can tell them that I’m going to swim 3.8km, ride 180km and then run 42km in a day…but that means absolutely nothing to them. They simply have no point of reference. I may as well tell them I’m going to map the human genome for all the relevance it has to their lives. And it’s not like they can tell their friends ‘My Dad’s an Ironman!’Because, the most likely response is going to be ‘Your Dad’s Ironman?!!!’…and then I’m going to have a procession of disappointed children wondering through my house asking where my metal suit is? And how come I can’t fly? and why don’t I have a collection of luxury sports cars in my garage? and come to that…why don’t I have a garage?!
The simple truth is, if I said ‘Hey kids, would you prefer to have your Dad be an Ironman or actually be around to take you to basketball and circus?’…I’m pretty sure I know what the answer would be.
I’ve even tried to convince myself that I was being a good husband by working so hard on getting fit. But in truth I’m yet to hear any woman say ‘You know my dream man is someone with the wiry and veiny legs of a marathon runner…and the emaciated upper body of a cyclist. Who gets up at some ungodly hour of the morning and falls asleep before I do every night. And who destroys any chance I have of maintaining a diet by eating all day and everyday in front of me…Oh, and if he can bang on endlessly about the sets he did at swim training…hold me back!’
Swimming towards the wave
There invariably comes a time when you are trying to make your way back out through the surf that you see a wave rising up in front of you. You can either sit back, let it break and hope that you can simply duck-dive under the whitewash. Or you can paddle your arse off and hope that you can get over the wave before it breaks. But the closer you get, the bigger the wave seems and the more likely you are to get a serious working over. With about 7 weeks to go before the Melbourne Ironman I was paddling frantically to get over that wave, but it was getting bigger and bigger. The wave was made up of the guilt I felt over the time I was spending away from my family (a few days earlier my 3yo son had walked up to me while I was doing the dishes, looked up at me and matter-of-factly said ‘I hate you Dad.’ then casually walked off), the guilt I felt for missing training sessions, the despair I was feeling seeing all my other hobbies slide into the background, the fear that maybe I wasn’t going to be able to complete the race, the fear that if I did finish the race maybe I was going to spend 13 – 15 hours hating it and wondering why I even bothered, and of course the knowledge that with 7 weeks to go my training load was only going to increase over the next couple of weeks.
The coach
When you’re out in the surf facing that wave, you don’t really have the option to ask those around for you advice. But when the wave is simply a metaphor for all your fears and anxieties about a race, then you actually have the option to talk to someone who has been through it (or at least a variation of it) before and can pass on some sage advice. For me, I was lucky enough to have my coach Craig Percival to talk to. I sent him an email explaining that I was no longer really looking forward to the race, and that in fact my sole motivation was simply all the things I was going to be able to do once I had finished the race, and his advice was simple ‘put the bike away, don’t look at your runners and just take some time off for a few days.’
So I did. I took 4 days off training. I spent time with our three kids. Took them to a movie. Did some photography work. Took my time with the cooking. In short, acted like a normal person, and in doing so, gained a little perspective.
Perspective
My goal going into this was just to finish the Ironman before the cutoff. Spending 15 months listening to people who race Ironman and 70.3 distance races regularly may have got me thinking about an 11hr time versus a 12hr time…but I didn’t get into this to beat a time. I got into this to do an Ironman, and so long as I finish before the cutoff, then I’ve achieved that.
I’m going to have to be selfish in order to achieve this, for the next 6 weeks I’m just going to have focus on the race, but I can try to assuage some of my guilt by giving back on race day. To be that guy who hi-fives the kids who have stood for hours by the road cheering people on, to be the guy who thanks the volunteers at the aid stations for the work they’re doing, to be the guy who acknowledges friends and family who have come out to cheer me on, and to be the guy who is just as excited to see his family at the end of the race as he is to hear Mike Reilly say ‘You are an Ironman!‘
To be the guy who sees what everyone else has done to allow me to live a dream.
2014 has been an interesting year of photography for me. On the one hand, training for the Ironman has left very little time to get out and take photos. But on the other hand taking part in The Age’s ‘Clique’ photo competition has meant that I’ve been forced to really push myself out of my comfort zone in terms who and how I shoot. Plus I shot my first wedding (there’s a blog on that coming soon). The net result is that I shot a lot more photos that I was happy with this year…so here are my top 10 in no particular order (if you’re having trouble viewing the images you can also find them here.)
#1 X & A
Probably the biggest change to my photography came with my purchase of the Zack Arias video series ‘Onelight 2.0’ It transformed me from someone who swore he would never shoot with a flash, to someone who suddenly saw the opportunities a flash presented. Like capturing that moment when a couple of 2 year olds give each other a big hug. On my normal settings I would have missed this. They would have been slightly blurred…or a little out of focus. But with the flash they were captured in this moment, and they both just look so freaking happy to be in each other’s company.
#2 Lightspeed at the roadhouse
I owe a pretty hefty debt to Luke Vesty for the idea for this one. We were on a two day roadtrip in regional Victoria and had decided to take some long exposure shots. Luke got an amazing shot of a truck driving past so all you could see was a road sign and the trucks red lights disappearing into the distance. Clearly I couldn’t steal his idea…but I could appropriate it! So this is my remix. I set up my shot of the roadhouse and then waited for a truck to come past. When it was about 500m away I took and 8 second shot…and this was the result.
#3 Selfish portrait
One of the Clique challenges was to ‘shine a light on something you are passionate about’. So I had the idea of getting a shot of me out on the cycling trainer with a long enough exposure that my legs would look blurred. In theory the idea was pretty straight forward…but it took about an hour of setting up the camera, pressing the button, then running over to the bike and pedalling until the shot was done, then getting off the bike and back to the camera to see if it had worked. Eventually it did and I love the final shot (the light on the back wheel is coming from my phone which I had set up against the trainer)…but was it worth the numerous mosquito bites? Probably not.
#4 Down at the Nieuw Amsterdam
Another Clique challenge was to take a photo of someone who worked from dusk til dawn, and you had to use available light (ie no flash). I have a friend at work whose husband runs a restaurant in the city called Nieuw Amsterdam and I asked if I could come in and take a photo, and she said no worries. So I traipsed into the city one Wednesday night and headed down to the cocktail bar at Nieuw Amsterdam, and discovered that while the bar had an awesome ambience…it was freaking dark. So I asked the barman if there was any way of getting some more light in to the bar ‘Will this do?’ he asked and put a brulee torch to a block of sugar. *snap* ‘Yep, that will do nicely.’
#5 Maxim
This shot was taken at Josh’s birthday party. My children pretty much refuse to do anything that I ask in a photo…but that doesn’t mean I can’t ask other, more polite children to stand under a skylight and look up towards it. I originally wanted to use as a colour shot as there was heaps of brightly coloured lego in the background…but it worked so much better as a black and white.
#6 Show me the boy at 7 and I’ll give you the man
As mentioned in #5, my kids have pretty much decided that my interest in photography is just a ploy to annoy them. As such, I have at best 10 seconds to get any shot of them before they walk off…and, no, they won’t be taking any direction…what you see is what you get. And sometimes that is pretty awesome. There’s nothing special about this as a photo…but as a parent it’s exactly how I see Josh, and how I think I’ll see him in about 10 years time. So I’m so glad I’ve got this as a keepsake.
#7 Sir James
Another big lesson for this year was ‘Don’t be afraid of autofocus’. I had always assumed that pro-photographers eschewed auto focus and manually focused all of their shots. But having spoken to a few photographers about this, they all had the same reaction ‘Wow, you’re focusing everything manually…I don’t do that!’
For this shot I was in near total darkness and had no scope to manually focus and so trusted the autofocus…and lo and behold the shots came out beautifully.
I had hired some flash gear for the weekend to take these shots, so I was shooting with gear I’d never used, following a technique I had just learnt from a video and I was taking photos of my father-in-law. So the scope for disaster was pretty spectacular, but if this year has taught me anything it’s that the more you push yourself, the bigger the rewards. My challenge with any portrait is to try and capture the essence of the person, and so in this shot I think you see someone who is content, confident, a bit cheeky and incredibly comfortable with a glass of wine in his hand. Which is pretty much exactly how I see James.
#8 The big sister
Similar to the photo of Josh, this photo is incredibly important to me as it serves a record of how close these two are. Holly’s patience with Xavier is biblical, and Xavier’s adoration of his big sister is equally epic. In time this may change…but I’ll always have this photo.
#9 Harry Potter
I can remember in my late teens I was having guitar lessons, and my teacher had given me a series of scales to learn. He explained that I could play the notes in pretty much any order and they would all work with each other as they are in the same scale. I worked on those scales for weeks…then one day I suddenly started to see the patterns in them and was suddenly able to create little solos by using the notes from the scales. It was like suddenly seeing how the magician did the trick. Suddenly things made sense.
This photo was a similar experience for me. I knew what I wanted to do with the shot, but couldn’t get the camera to do it. So I went to full manual mode and realised what I had to do. I changed lenses, I put the camera on a tripod, I manually focussed on the church, cropped the moon just out of the shot so that the overall shot was darker so that I could use a longer exposure, and I got this shot. Suddenly things made sense.
#10 Footjam Nosepick
The final Clique challenge was to take a shot using a fast shutter speed, which again was something I’ve never really done before. So we headed to the Edinburgh gardens, and after watching the skaters for about 20minutes, I saw this guy on the BMX doing a few runs. He was pulling off some pretty awesome tricks, and so I decided he was my star. I watched him for a bit longer to work out where was a good place to take the shot (ie where I was close enough to a trick to get the shot, but not in the way of anyone else). Then I shot in bursts of 1/1,000. I got a couple of pretty good shots of him doing airs, and one of him grinding…but this was the hero shot.
I really like photos where the more you look, the more you see, and so if you look closely you notice his tatts, you notice the two skaters in the background watching him, and if you look really closely you see that he’s not using a hand-brake to keep his front wheel from moving, he’s jammed his foot between the tyre and the fork – a ‘footjam nosepick’.
In conclusion
So that’s my top 10 for 2014. I was really stoked to have my portfolio of photos for Clique make the final for the grand prize. But I was much happier with how many risks I was willing to take this year to work on my photography. From approaching relative strangers to be photographed, to taking on my first wedding, to trying new techniques and equipment…every risk I’ve taken has given me some reward. Now I just have to work out a way to get paid to do this on a regular basis so that I can afford to get some of these printed.
Thanks for following the blog this year, I know that it’s been pretty sporadic. But once I’ve got this Ironman done (in March 2015) I’ll have much more time to devote to creative pursuits….and hopefully 2015 will be an even better year for photography.
Some of you may have seen my video about preparing for my first marathon (if not you can see it here…go on watch it…I can wait), well I’m now the proud of owner of a medal and painfully sore legs, so I feel I should tell you a little about how the marathon unfolded for me and what I learnt from it.
The marathon really begins at 30km
I heard this quite a few times in the lead up to the run “It’s really two races, from 0km to 30kms and then 30kms to the finish” or some variation on that theme. To be honest I thought that this was just something people who had done a marathon said to sound smart…but sadly for me it was remarkably accurate (give or take a few kms).
I was sitting on a really good pace for the first 32kms, I was running within myself, passing people and feeling really good. But from about the 32km mark my quads started to get sore, my hips were tightening up, my heart rate was going up and my pace was dropping significantly (I had held 5’30” pace up until then…and suddenly dropped to 6’00” pace…then about 7’00” for the last 2kms!). From 36km-39km was a very dark place.
Trust GPS not your vanity
When I train I have a Garmin that I use for my heart rate and Nike+ that I use to measure the distance. The Garmin also measures distance, but the Nike+ has a nicer user interface when you upload it, and I’ve been using it for longer so I get to gloat about having run 5,000km with it, and I don’t have to find the little ANT+ USB to upload the data like I do with the Garmin…but if I’m being brutally honest, I use it because it’s a little more generous with the distances. Run 10km with the Garmin, and the Nike+ will say ‘Great 11km run’. Go for a 15km run and the Nike+ will say ‘great 17.5km run…you’re running at 5’00″/km pace!’. Which is all well and good until you start basing your estimated run time on these speeds and start saying things like ‘I think that if I have a good day I could run 3hrs30mins!’ because you didn’t want to face the reality that you weren’t running as far as you thought you were.
In the end, my Garmin said I ran 42.67kms for the marathon and Nike+ congratulated me for running 47.5kms. If I’d spent more time paying attention to my Garmin stats than my Nike+ stats I would have known that a 4hr marathon was a much more likely goal.
So I taught Nike+ a lesson by leaving my iPod in my running shorts and putting them through the wash. Genius.
People are awesome
Whether it’s people who come down to see you run (like my coach Craig who had put in a lazy 50km run the day before and my family who braved the throngs of people on the finish line) or workmates who are volunteering at the event and yell out to you as you go by (like the inimitable Lauren Bruce), or the myriad volunteers who have got out of bed early and stood in the sun all day so that they can pass you a cup of water, or the complete strangers standing by the course who clap and cheer you on and tell you that you’re ‘looking good’ (when in fact you later see photos that prove the contrary), to the other thousands of runners in all shapes, sizes, ages and abilities who are going through what you’re going through, and to the amazing masseuses who spend hours in the gloomy bowels of the MCG rubbing the legs of complete strangers who are beginning to understand why the first guy who ran the marathon died.
They may only occupy 3 seconds of your journey, but dear God they’re appreciated!
It’s hard
I know that this is stating the freaking obvious. But I spent three hours and 45 minutes of the race thinking that it was challenging but doable…and 15 minutes thinking that it was freaking hard and that walking might be a good idea…and the remaining 11 minutes in a world of mental and physical pain just wishing it would end. But those 11 minutes of mental torture weren’t just the last 11 minutes of the race, they were interspersed over the last hour. So you would oscillate between ‘this is too hard, I should just walk’ to ‘this is too hard, I should just stop!’, all the while seeing people who were doing exactly these things. People hobbling, people grabbing at cramping legs, people being attended to by St. John’s Ambulance staff.
In every endurance event I’ve done there has been a point where I’ve genuinely considered just calling it a day…but for the marathon, there were repeated points…and they felt like an eternity.
But when you reach the finish line…
…well…you reach the finish line. I don’t know if it’s because running a marathon had never really been a dream of mine…or because the reality was sinking in that in the Ironman I would have to do that 42km run having already done a 3.8km swim and a 180km bike ride…or because I had hoped to finish the race in 4hrs and had run 4hrs 11mins instead. But I didn’t feel particularly elated. In real life the footage doesn’t slow down, the inspirational music doesn’t swell up, the spotlight doesn’t fall on you…instead you are just one of a number of people crossing the finish line, and you are too busy trying to spot where your friends and family are, and working out where the medals are being handed out, and trying to get some fluids into you, that you just sort of stumble around for 5 minutes with a whole lot of other people who are stumbling around trying to process what they’ve just done.
There is a real endorphin rush that normally comes with a good run workout…and there is a real pleasure that comes with stopping doing something that really hurts…but for some reason when these two combine for me, I’m not left feeling euphoric…just dazed and light headed. If anything, the real fun begins a few hours later when my brain has processed what’s happened and I can start to get a little perspective. Of course by then, my legs are starting to scream at me for what I’ve done to them and I just have to channel my inner Jens Voigt and say ‘Shut up legs!’.
So it’s done. The guy who grew up hating running has done a marathon…and now I get to focus on the Challenge Shepparton 70.3 (half-Ironman) in early November. A big thanks to everyone who donated to my fundraising for the JMB Foundation. A big thanks to my coach Craig who got me to a stage where I could run a marathon, and the biggest thanks to my family for putting up with the constant training and giving up a beautiful Sunday morning to come and see me run.
When we had our first child, I was inundated with people saying nice things like ‘Oh it’s so wonderful’ and ‘You’re going to be a great parent’. Then when we had our second child, people said things like ‘Oh you’ve got a boy and a girl, the full set!’ and ‘Now you’re a real family’. When we had our third, suddenly people were saying things like ‘So when are you getting the snip?’ and ‘My husband went to a place where you get a free stubby holder’. Suddenly women were putting my genitals and scissors in the same sentence, and with a sense of inevitability that terrified me. Well that sense of inevitability was well placed, as I have just had the snip.
So why do it?
Well, mainly because we have three healthy happy kids, and we don’t want to push our luck. Also, at no stage in the last 6 months have I thought ‘You know, I sure could go for constantly broken sleep and zero time to do anything for myself right now!’
Furthermore, despite the advent of self service counters at the supermarket, purchasing condoms remains as awkward at 38 as it was at 18. It’s just that when you bought them at 18 you looked ‘aspirational’ whereas at 38 and with three kids you look ‘incompetent’.
But mainly because having 4 kids would probably tip us into Tarago territory…and having someone attack your genitals with a sharp object seems a fairly attractive alternative.
Making the decision
Obviously this is a decision that needs to be reached after a lot of discussion and careful consideration. So Katie and I sat down and I said ‘You know I think that it might be time for me to…Josh, I thought I told you to stop watching that video about Minecraft!’ and Katie said ‘I think you’re right, but we need to consider…Yes Holly I can see you on the monkey bars…no I can’t come out I’m just trying to talk to Dad…I know you’ll be quick, but…OK fine I’m coming!’ Then I finished the conversation by saying ‘I just think that we really need to…No Xavier! Don’t put that in there, it will break it! DON’T PUT THAT IN THERE! I TOLD you NOT to put that in there! Yes well of course it’s not working now, that’s WHAT I said would happen. Don’t look at me like that.’
So that pretty much settled it.
Fears
This is not really something that the guys I know talk about voluntarily. One guy I know mentioned his vasectomy because it was the reason he was off the bike for an extended period…and another said his was like ‘getting kicked in the balls…but it lasted for a couple of days’. So clearly I was pretty excited about something that was painful, expensive and was going to stop my Ironman training in its tracks.
But I was genuinely worried about what it would do to both my libido and performance, so I called around all my friends and we sat down and had a full and frank discussion about my fears and about their experiences…nah, just kidding, I interalised it all and chose to hope for the best…THAT is the male way!
The process
First you need to see a GP to get a referral to see a Urologist…then you need to see the Urologist. I think that by definition Urologists are surgeons…but I don’t know for sure. What I do now know is that male surgeons aren’t called ‘Dr.’ they are called ‘Mr.’ So while most Doctors say “I didn’t spend 6 years at medical school just to be called “Mister”!’ when you accidentally call them ‘Mr’…apparently surgeons say ‘I didn’t spend an extra couple of years training to be a surgeon just to be called “Doctor”!’ when you call them ‘Dr’. The long and the short of it is that despite the fact that they may be called something like ‘Mr. Clarke’ instead of ‘Dr. Clarke’…they will still charge a hell of a lot of money for a very short consultation.
They will also make sure that you are getting a vasectomy for the right reasons (for the record ‘because my wife told me to’ is not considered a valid reason), and that you are aware that 1 in 4 marriages end in divorce…so are you really sure you want to exclude the option of having kids with your second and third wives? I explained that I had masturbated into the freezer and so I had a ‘sample’ that I could use if ever the need arose…he explained that that’s not how it works, and asked me to leave his office.
You then book in a time and a hospital and away you go. For me I went privately (mainly because my GP recommended this surgeon) and I ended up paying over $1,000 for the surgery…I’m sure you can do this through the public system and pay a lot less. But the crappy sandwich, cup of tea and ‘Woman’s Day’ magazines from 2011made it all seem worthwhile.
From what I can gather different surgeons do the operation differently, some use a general anesthetic and some just use a local. I had a general, and ironically it was the first afternoon nap I’d had since Josh was born. I checked in at 2.30pm and by 6.30pm I was being driven home, so the operation side of things was pretty cruisey…the ‘fasting’ from 8am until 2.30pm was not so cruisey, especially as the reception area where you wait had a cafe with food and coffee that smelled amazing.
It’s now the next day, and while it certainly doesn’t feel like ‘I’ve been kicked in the balls’…I am moving pretty slowly, and think it will be a few weeks before I get back on the bike (this is not a tawdry metaphor…I really do mean get back on the bike). So I’ll keep you posted on the recovery, and just thank God that on the drive home from the hospital when Josh asked me what the two specimen jars were for and I said ‘to see if the operation had worked’…he didn’t ask any further questions.
Earlier this week our dog Jasper died, he’d been with us for over 12 years and so I’d known him longer than my kids, my workmates…and Game of Thrones. He was the happy face in the morning when I fed him, and my constant companion when I took him for walks at night, and his departure marks then end of an era for our family.
So I think it’s only fair that I take this opportunity to say a few words.
In the beginning
Way back in 2002 Katie and I were planning our wedding, and while we certainly didn’t think we were ready for kids…we did think it would be a good idea to get a pet to see what our potential parenting skills were like. We wanted a Beagle, but knew how hard they were to train and so chose some Beagles that had been crossed with a Labrador…after all, my Dad’s family had had Labradors for years, and they were pretty easy to train…what could possibly go wrong? The short answer to this is that by combining a Beagle with a Labrador you create a beast that has an incredible nose, and a bottomless stomach. But we weren’t to know this, and so we got two (we knew that Beagle’s are pack dogs and destroy marginally fewer things if they have a playmate). Thus Ceilidh (a girl and named after a Scottish dance) and Jasper (the boy, named after the coffee) were brought home.
Now that I have kids I realise that the dogs actually provided some amazing insights into parenting. Suddenly you can no longer just ‘head off for a weekend’, you realise the importance of routine and consistency, and most tellingly you learn that suddenly you are responsible for the food that goes into someone else’s mouth…and the cleaning up and disposal of that same food about 12 hours later.
The dogs also taught me that two individuals can grow up in the same environment, and yet have very different personalities. Ceilidh clearly modelled herself on Katie and so was a stunningly attractive dog…who was pretty much 100% convinced that her idea was the best. Whereas Jasper was handsome, stoic and remarkably good at being told what to do…I don’t know who he was modelling himself on.
Over the next four years the dogs were our kids and we had amazing times training them, walking them, taking them to the beach and watching them tear around Chelsworth and Zwar park. I can honestly say that seeing them at full flight on the beach or at a park is one of my favourite and most indelible memories of the dogs.
Then the real kids came
As much as we promised ourselves that nothing would change when Josh arrived…it did. Suddenly the dogs had to sleep outside, I had to walk the two of them (which looked a fair bit like someone trying to waterski behind two jetskis…both pulling in different directions) and of course the dogs had to accept that there was a new member of the pack…and he was above them.
We were incredibly lucky to have my parents take the dogs on regular long weekends at their place where they were lavished with attention (grandparents need to use dogs to hone their grandparenting skills as well), and I was always convinced that it was only a matter of time before I was able to devote the same amount of time to the dogs that I did pre-kids.
But then Holly came along, and suddenly our pool of available time was even shorter. But the dogs never complained or acted up. They just adapted and took the belly rubs whenever they presented themselves.
Then just as Holly was starting to build a friendship with Ceilidh (Holly would help me feed her most mornings), Ceilidh died. It was bloody awful, and left a big hole in our family. It also made us realise that Jasper would now be more dependent on us for affection and attention.
Then Xavier came along.
Then we renovated the house.
The guilt.
I won’t lie. I’ve been feeling guilty about Jasper for probably the last two years. I have this fantasy of me taking him for his nightly walk and half-way through the walk he would stop and say ‘Chris, there are two things you need to know. The first, is that I can talk…the second is that I totally understand why you can’t devote the amount of time to me that you used to, I’m cool with it and I appreciate everything you do.’ But of course that didn’t happen. Instead his nightly walk was sandwiched somewhere between doing the dishes and getting the kids into bed. I would have had my headphones in listening to a podcast, and the only time Jasper would have taken a break from lurching from one side of the footpath to the other in search of what the TAFE students had dropped would have been when he was waiting for me to pick up what he had just done on someone else’s nature strip.
I was so convinced that I would eventually find the time…but I never did, and now he’s gone.
But remember the good times
For all my guilt…my memories are pretty much exclusively of the good times. Having people assume that he was a highly expensive Foxhound, and comment on what a handsome dog he was (with his muscly good looks and Ceilidh’s long lashes and fine features they could have made a Hollywood glamour couple from the 50’s)! Going for walks with Jasper and the kids and seeing them all revel in the fun of being a pack.
The 20 minutes of freedom his walk gave me every night, and the way it forced me to see parts of my suburb that I would never have seen otherwise. The way he would bound around excitedly every time we were getting ready to go for a walk, the way he would sit so regally…and then simply place is paw on your leg and let you know that perhaps it would be a good idea to pat him…and hey, while you’re doing that I’m just going to roll over so that you can rub my chest. The way that even though he was getting old, he would sit at my side whenever we came to a road.
But most of all, the way he remained so loyal and devoted until the end.
So farewell Jasper Jones my faithful hound, you made me a better person and better parent, and our family is poorer for your passing.
I’ve always hated using a flash when taking photos. It conjures up horrible memories of washed out images, of people taking photos at concerts in a way that only illuminates the heads of the people in front of them (and not the performers on the stage 50m away), of menu boards in cheap restaurants where you end up ordering the ‘special’ because thankfully they don’t have a photo of that, and of people and pets who look demonically possessed due to red/yellow eyes. In short, I didn’t see how using a flash could add to an image.
But I’ve just embarked on my first ever shoot with a flash…and I am so happy with the results that I felt the need to blog about it.
The good flash and the bad flash
I can still remember my first really good Pad Thai, my first really good Pinot Noir, and my first really good bike, because I had that moment where I thought ‘Oh…now I see why so many people rave about this!’ It was still just a combination of ingredients, or elements or parts…but it was done by someone who knew what they were doing and so it worked. What I realise now is that I simply hadn’t seen flash photography done well (or perhaps more accurately I hadn’t realised that some work that I really liked was the result of a flash). Thankfully a friend of mine Tim Arch (check out his website…he’s awesome!) introduced me to the work of Zack Arias and suddenly I wanted to try to take some photos with a flash!
If you’re even vaguely interested in taking photos using flash then I highly recommend downloading his ‘Onelight 2.0′ videos. They basically take you through how the flash works and then takes you through different photo shoots where he only uses one flash and get’s some amazing photos. They are beautifully filmed, he’s an excellent host and best of all you LEARN a hell of a lot! The boring bits are still interesting, and and the interesting bits are inspirational!
Off camera flash
The biggest difference between what I had seen as flash photography and what Zack was doing was that instead of having the flash mounted on his camera, Zack was mounting the camera somewhere else and then using a wireless transmitter to fire the flash when he took the photo on his camera. So instead of having someone who looks like they’re about to be hit by a car…you have someone who is lit in an artistic or nuanced way. Also he is using something to diffuse the light (a softbox or an umbrella).
I should also add that this is nothing new…it was just new to me.
So I decided to bite the bullet and hire a light stand, some wireless camera triggers, a reflective umbrella and a flash (about $100 for two days) and take as many photos as I could.
Shoot 1 – The brick wall
If you’ve been to our place post-renovation you will know the brick wall we now have in our dining room, I really wanted to use this as a backdrop and so this was my first place I set up the gear.
Now one thing I learnt very quickly is that it’s really difficult to set up the shot without someone sitting in the spot while you take numerous test shots and ask yourself questions like; How powerful the flash should be? Should I be closing down the umbrella to try to focus the light?, How far away should the flash be from the subject? and What’s the sync speed on this camera? (the correct answers for these shots being about 1/16th, yes, about 2ft and 1/160). So you will need to coax someone to sit in while you take the practice shots. Be warned that children have very low tolerances for such things when they could be scooting around the house…and that pleading/needy look in Dad’s eye is just becoming tiresome. But if you can keep one of one of them in the seat for a couple of minutes, you can get something like this
I really like this shot…but because the ambient light was so low I had to rely on the 550D’s autofocus because I couldn’t really see the face clearly…which I find tends to be a more hit than miss. In this case the focus is on the lips rather than they eyes…but it still works. I also later learnt that I could have had the ambient lights up a lot brighter and still got a good shot as the flash was going to drown out any ambient light…but it’s little things like this that are great to learn in front of a non-paying client.
If the kids have been bundled off to bed, then can try to take a photo of your spouse. They may need to be plied with a cup of tea…but it’s all worth while when you can get a shot like this.
Shoot 2 – The Cellar.
I’ve been promising to take some photos of my father-in-law (James) for a website for his wine racking system (I’ve also been promising to build this website…but first things first). So I packed the gear and headed over to his place to take some photos in his cellar.
Again there was a fair degree of faffing around with the gear and setting up the shots…but I’m really happy how they turned out (and best of all he likes them enough to let me stay married to his daughter!)
Shoot 3 – Outside
This was a purely impromptu shoot at about 5pm in the backyard of Chateau Righi. Basically we had finished shooting in the cellar, I’d had a glass of something cool and delicious, and I decided to try shooting just as the day light faded. What really surprised me with these photos is how the flash overpowered the ambient light. They look for all the world like they were shot in darkness…but it was dusk at the latest and there was still plenty of light in the sky.
What I really love about these is that in using the flash I was actually able to capture a few moments that I would never have captured shooting as I normally do. In that light, even the slightest movement would have meant that the faces were blurred…but the flash captured the moment perfectly.
So in summary, did I like shooting with the flash? Yes I did. Have I completely changed my tune on flash? Yes…but I still won’t use the flash that’s built into the camera. Am I going to buy the gear so I can shoot like this whenever I want? No. At this stage it’s still too expensive…but it is definitely on my list of things to buy…along with the 5Dmk3…and the 85mm lens…and the Fuji x-T1…and the ND filters…oh, and the food for my family…but in that order.
At the end of last year I signed up for The Age’s ‘Clique’ photo competition. Basically each month they provide you with a theme and you have to submit a photo on that theme. I was relatively happy with my submissions for the first two themes (‘water’ and ‘building’), but I was really happy with my one for ‘shine a light on what matters to you’. Today I found out that it was a finalist in the competition, and while I didn’t win or get a highly commended it was awesome to have my shot rated so highly by the judges. A really good picture tells a story…but sometimes the story behind taking the picture can be just as interesting.
The Idea
Now the idea was to take a photo of something that mattered to you. Which is pretty much code for ‘take a picture of something that will make you look better by showing you care about it’, so I figured there would be a lot of photos about the environment and about poverty. While these things definitely matter to me…I wanted to do something that was a little more positive.
Seeing as I spend pretty much all of the time that I’m not working, sleeping or being a parent, training for the Ironman, I decided to take a photo of something to do with that. I’ve seen footage of me running, and that certainly isn’t an image I want to capture or share with other people…and taking a photo of myself swimming was probably going to result in the loss of my camera, so I settled on a photo of me on the bike trainer.
The challenges
I wanted to take a photo with a slightly longish exposure so that there would be an impression of movement through my legs being a blur as they pedaled, and seeing as we don’t have any lights in the shed where I train I figured that a long exposure would also allow a lot more light in. So my plan was to set up the shot by getting Josh to sit on the bike so that I could get it framed and focused, then shoot the photo with 10 second timer so that I had time to run over to the bike and start pedaling. But when I got everything set up in ‘Manual’ mode on the camera it would only allow me to set a 2 second timer, which was not nearly enough time for me to get onto the bike.
So I could either use a different mode on the camera and let it do the work…or I would need a camera assistant. Seeing as my main reason for joining ‘Clique’ was to get better at using the manual settings on the camera, I opted for getting a camera assistant to press the button to take the shot. Regrettably the only camera assistants available were a 12 year old Beagle/Labrador and an 8 year old boy. I went with the 8 year old boy (and anyone who uses this quote out of context against me is a terrible person!) Now 8 year old boys have many redeeming features, however sitting next to a camera, waiting for their Dad to scamper over to a bike and say ‘now’, pressing a button, waiting for Dad to unclip from his pedals and scamper back to the camera to review the shot and then say ‘that was good but I need you to do it again’ and then repeating this 15 times when they would much rather just play on the monkey bars is not one of them. Pressing a button on the camera without also moving the camera is also not really in their repertoire…and neither is staying really still while the camera is taking the long exposure.
On the bright side, being brutally honest about whether you should have a top on for the photo is a real strong point. The reality of using these bike trainers is that you do a whole lot of exercise without any real air flow, so you sweat a hell of a lot…so I normally do these sessions just wearing my cycling knicks. But with the innocence that has broken the heart of many a parent Josh inquired ‘Dad, are people going to see this photo?’ ‘I hope so’ I replied…and after a few seconds consideration ‘Well they probably won’t want to see you without your top on’ was his considered conclusion. So ‘capturing the moment honestly’ went out the window and the cycling jersey went on.
After about 10 attempts the shot still wasn’t working. If I pedaled at a normal pace, then my legs were moving so fast that my legs disappeared with the long exposure. And the shot looked really flat. So I shortened the exposure, put my phone with the torch on at the bottom of the trainer and put my laptop in front of me so that there would be a bit of light on my face. After another couple of shots I had worked out that if I pedaled really slowly, then I got the effect of the blurred legs I was after. Unfortunately, my camera assistant worked out that he really didn’t want to do this anymore and so he headed off to do something else. To add some further excitement we were about 10 minutes away from when it was time to put the kids to bed.
There was every chance that the entire night was going to be a waste of time, so I dragged Katie away from the kitchen and asked her to take the shot. Her first shot was almost perfect, so I excitedly made a few minor tweaks and saddled up for the winning shot…only to have my phone run out of batteries and lose the light at the base of the trainer. So Katie grabbed her phone and we went to try again…then the laptop ran out of batteries. So I raced it inside and charged it for a few minutes. Then with children who should be in bed revelling in the anarchy of not being in bed, with a laptop with about 5% charge and a phone with even less, and with any chance of actually doing a training session on the bike completely eviscerated, I saddled up for one last shot…and it worked!
The result
and if you want to see the photos that won the competition…head here
In the past, the prospect of getting a new car was enough to leave me so excited I couldn’t sleep at night. The thrill of the hunt, the ridiculous levels of research, that moment when the car was all yours to drive! But we are about to get a new car, and I can honestly say I’m more excited about getting some new headphones I’ve ordered. ‘Why?’ I don’t hear you ask…well because this is going to be the car that clearly lets me know that I am currently leaving ‘Youngpersonsville pop. 18million. Thanks for visiting’ and entering ‘Themusickidslistentoistooloud Town. pop. way too many. Enjoy the decline.’ In other words, we’re getting a people mover.
Not just any people mover, an SUV…an automatic diesel one. Which is pretty much the equivalent of walking into a pub, ordering a shandy, demanding a straw to drink it with…then putting Enya on the jukebox.
But why Chris?
The baffling logic appears to be, that if we get this new car, we will be able to spend more time taking other people’s children to things. Which, I think you’ll agree, is a pretty sweet sales pitch. Plus I believe that it negates the need to get a vasectomy, as you no longer have testicles. Look at the money you’re sort of saving!!!
For those of you who don’t know, our current car is a modified Subaru Forester. It looks awesome, it handles beautifully and it goes ‘Waaapshtt’ on each gear change. Admittedly it was a purchase made solely to please me…and a rather sad attempt to show that I was still fun and interesting despite having three kids in the backseat (in truth, the only real difference between me driving this car, and some sad middle aged lump driving a convertible sports car, was that the two year old in the backseat of my car meant that at least I had had sex in the last 2 years.)
On top of that, the brushes on the lowered suspension have to be replaced regularly as a result of having to deal with things like driveways and speed humps, if we get more than 350kms out of a tank of Premium unleaded we feel like somehow cheated Saudi Arabia, and it does draw a fair bit of attention from the boy-racer types (we also once had someone yell ‘The Fast and the Furious!’ at us in the car park of the Ballet Centre…clearly no-one involved in that situation was going to see the ballet). It’s also freaking expensive to insure. Every little unusual sound could be the start of a very expensive problem…and you live in constant fear of a policeman pulling you over and having a look under the bonnet.
The joy of driving
Perhaps the biggest reason for me realising that it’s time to let go of my fun car and learn to the love the beige, is that I’ve lost the love of driving. I used to view people who said ‘A car is just something to get me from A to B’ with the same level of contempt I reserved for people who said ‘Why would you eat that foreign stuff when there’s a Maccas just down the road?’ But sadly I’m starting to see it from their point of view (not the Maccas people…they are worse than Satan). After all when was the last time I went for a drive just for the fun of it? When was the last time I pushed my limits as a driver? When was the last time I went for a drive and thought ‘Well the people I’m sharing the road with are all clearly focused on what they’re doing and so I should just enjoy my driving, rather than spending the entire time in cat-like anticipation waiting to respond to their stupidity? (for those playing at home the answers are, ‘2002’, ‘At a track day at Calder Park’ and ‘Not in living memory’). So what’s the point of having a ‘driver’s car’…if your current driving experiences are at best sporadic and uninspiring?
What’s more, this new car will probably have a stereo you can hear over the road noise, it will have crazy mod cons like USB and Bluetooth and GPS…it will even have a DVD player built in so that I can become one of those people I hate with DVD players in their car! And who knows, maybe getting an automatic transmission won’t be the first step on a slippery slope towards becoming one of those people in Wall-e who just sit in floating chairs while machines do everything for them.
I think that this is the hardest part about this new car. A Territory makes so much more sense than the car we have now. But it is just such a clear indication that I’m slowly sinking into that comfortable arm-chair called ‘middle age’…and while my early 20’s self looks on in horror at what I’ve become, instead of raging against the machine and fighting for my right to party… I just turn to the salesman and ask how much more would come out of my pay every fortnight if I got the arm-chair in leather.