Movember week 1

Like most men I’m not afraid of having a moustache, nor am I afraid of not having a moustache. But what I am afraid of is the horrible limbo that exists between having a moustache and not having a moustache…at best you look like the bass player in an average rock cover band, at worst you look like a teenager trying to trick the guy at the bottle shop that you really are over 18.
That’s the beauty of Movember, you get 30 days to try and work your way through this limbo with relative social humiliation impunity. So I’ve decided to give it a go… Now I’m No Expert But here are my experiences thus far.

What mo to go with?
It’s not until you consider growing a mo that you realise just how enigmatic they are. On the right person they can convey power and authority (think Dennis Lillee, a policeman, or my father in law). Combined with rock stardom they can convert a not so attractive man into virile stallion (think Lemmy from Motorhead or Freddy Mercury). They can even define a man (think John Waters, Adolf Hitler or Boony).
But they are also the domain of the second hand car sales man, the creepy PE teacher and bikie gangs. And if you want to be a captain of industry or the leader of a country (one that hasn’t been taken over in a military coup), then no moustache for you!
So when it comes to choosing a mo for yourself, what do you go with? I’ve seen both my cousin Austin and fellow Movember teammate Eugenio converted from friendly and approachable to ‘underworld standover man’ simply by having a handlebar moustache. I’ve seen photos of my Dad when he had a mo and was affectionately known as ‘Shifty the Pimp’. I’ve seen men walking the streets with mos and thought ‘Yeah…nah. That doesn’t work’. And of course I’m also painfully¬† aware that genetically I am not pre-disposed to growing facial hair. So as much as I would like to go with something intimidating or something ornate that requires wax…I’m just going to settle for something Clark Gable-esque.

How to grow the Mo.
A dodgy beard or a dodgy goatee will always look better than a dodgy mo…so for safety I recommend you grow out a beard and then trim it back to a mo once you have sufficient growth.
But if you are doing Movember, then you are morally obliged to just grow the mo. You may look like a dodgy teenager. You may get wry smiles or stifled sniggers…but that is burden you have to bear.

So how’s my progress?
Well here’s my progress from day 1 to day 7

I think it’s fair to say it’s sketchy at best. But there is potential!

What have I learnt in my first week?

  • I have a very tolerant wife
  • I will need all 30 days to come up with something half decent
  • There are some grey hairs in my beard…GREY HAIRS!
  • Sometimes you forget you even have a mo, until you catch your reflection or you see someone sniggering
  • Nobody respects a man in his late 30’s with the moustache of 16 year old

I’m fascinated, how can I find out more?
You can head to my Mospace page , check out the daily photos…and ideally donate some money towards men’s health. At the very least, get me above $0!




2 thoughts on “Movember week 1”

    1. But I’m already attractive to lady fish!
      As for the Charlie Chaplin…I have pondered this quite a few times. But with 3 Aryan looking children, the youngest of whom has developed a disturbing habit of pointing by raising his right arm just above shoulder height…I just think it’s too risky.

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